..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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