I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
