Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
