Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize