Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
