At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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