hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
