We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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