Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
