I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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