David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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