You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
