ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
