I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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