Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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