ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
