we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
