I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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