Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
