let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
