Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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