I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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