It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
