When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
