and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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