Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
