So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
