So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
