Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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