if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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