Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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