Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
