He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
