bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
