don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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