i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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