Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
