in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
