I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
