..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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