I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
