I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
