Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You ruined the universe
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
