how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
