dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize