You're so nebulous sometimes
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
