I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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