actually, I'm a sock model
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
