He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
