He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
