he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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