I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
