Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
