Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
