Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i think my cat just said my name.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
