Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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